CINCINNATI — On most days, Tony Miller introduces himself like this:
“I’m Tony Miller, and I’m an alcoholic.”
In the last few years, he’s added another part to his introduction:
“I have dementia.”
In his kitchen, Miller dumps a bag of coins onto the counter. He’s been sober for 45 years, each coin representing one of those milestones.
At 74 years old, he still attends meetings six days a week. And in those meetings, he says he's learned to be honest. About everything.
WATCH: Dementia changed their lives. But this couple says they laugh more now than ever before
It's why he's talking to me about how he lives with dementia.
Because when he talks about it in those meetings, he’s always surprised by how many people's lives have been touched by the disease.
“We just try to do the best we can,” Miller said. “One day at a time.”
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By 2030, one in four Ohioans will be 60 years or older — putting them at an increased risk for cognitive problems, like dementia.
It's part of the reason why Ohio lawmakers are pushing for more specialized training for nurse aides. Because more and more people are diagnosed with dementia each year.
Miller worked with his wife for more than 30 years. Now, he can't remember any of it.
“What do you expect? I’ve got dementia,” Miller said. “I can’t remember everything.”
While he talks, his wife smiles. And laughs. Mary Miller takes a picture of him.
“I’m glad Tony still remembers me,” Mary said. "And I’m going to be grateful for every minute that I have.”
They play Five Crowns next to a Christmas tree in their living room. Tony tells me his wife is letting him win.
And after a few minutes, he tells me again.
"We laugh more today than we have in the last couple decades,” Mary said. “And when he asked me the same question a dozen times, I just took a breath and answered as if it was the first time I've heard it."
But that doesn't mean it's been easy. Mary was the CEO of their janitorial business. In her job, she used to help people plan for their future.
Now, all she can do is plan for today. She says she finally realized that's OK.
You can talk to a dementia expert with the Alzheimer's Association by calling 800.272.3900.
