HAMILTON, Ohio — Cole Parr said he remembers the exact moment he knew the lunch buddy program was working.
It was a snowy Thursday in January when school was canceled, and 10-year-old Keon couldn't meet his "big brother" for their weekly lunch date. The disappointment in the fourth-grader's voice when they spoke later was unmistakable — not just because he missed lunch, but because he missed Parr.
"That's when I realized this wasn't just about eating together anymore," said Parr, a senior at Badin High School in Hamilton. "He actually looks forward to seeing me. That means everything."
Three weeks earlier, Parr and Keon had been complete strangers. Now, their Thursday lunch meetings at Riverview Elementary School have become the highlight of both their weeks — part of a mentoring program in Butler County.
More than 100 children are waiting for mentors. Some boys wait over a year to be matched. But "Lunch Buddies," launched in January through a partnership between Big Brothers Big Sisters of Butler County and the two schools, is proving that sometimes simple solutions can create the most change.
WATCH: How lunch buddies are transforming young lives in Butler County
Needing a friend
Keon doesn't sugarcoat why he needed a lunch buddy.
"Well, basically, at school, I've been struggling, and I've been kind of lonely, so I wanted to have some time with some bigger kids than me that I could talk to and spend time with other people, because I really do not like being alone," he told me.
Keon has siblings, but has found it difficult to connect with any of his peers at school. When asked what school would look like without Parr's visits, Keon's said it "would look very gray and very rainy and very cloudy."
But with Parr there? His face brightens as he says his day is "bright and sunny."
"That's awesome. That makes my heart happy," Parr responds.
How the program works
The lunch buddy concept is simple. Every Thursday, high school students shuttle from Badin to Riverview during their lunch and study hall periods. For one hour, they eat, play games and talk with carefully matched fourth-graders who need an extra connection.
Katy Roberts, director of programs for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Butler County, said she and her team conduct interviews with both "bigs" and "littles," exploring interests, hobbies and life experiences to create matches.
"We kind of look through the system and match them up on who we think we get along the best. We also take their background into consideration," Roberts said. "So, for example, we have a big who comes from a household of divorced parents, they might want to be matched with a little whose family is divorced or going through that, because they can relate to them, share some insights with them."
Parr and Keon bonded instantly over soccer — Parr plays for Badin and bleeds Manchester United red, while Keon dreams of mastering new skills on the field. At another table, Grace Ernst, also a Badin senior, discovered an immediate connection with her "little sister" Queenie.
"I just love being able to build a connection with her. She's so fun and fun to talk to. And I feel like sometimes we can be really similar. We're really different. I love getting to know her," Ernst said.
Roberts said she's witnessed hundreds of first meetings, and the pattern never loses its magic.
"When you see the little come in on the first day and they're kind of nervous. And they're like, 'I don't really know what this is. My mom's told me I'm meeting some random person today,' and then, like, three weeks in, they're just like, 'Where's my big? I'm ready to see my big. I want to hang out with them,'" Roberts said.
Breaking down barriers
The lunch buddy format addresses obstacles that have may have challenged mentoring programs in the past.
Roberts said transportation issues disappear because children are already at school. Parents don't need to arrange evening pickups or weekend schedules. The time commitment is manageable for busy high schoolers juggling academics, sports and college applications.
"There are always kids on our waiting list, and we're always trying to find ways to serve them, and we think that this would take down some of those barriers," Roberts said. "Just having someone come in during that time, it makes it a really great way to serve more kids in our county and make a positive impact."
For Annemarie Barth, principal of Riverview Elementary School, academic success often hinges less on curriculum and more on relationships and emotional support.
"I think that we know as educators that a lot of times, it's more about that interaction piece than it is about anything else. So building that relationship, being able to build that with multiple different adults or high school kids, is really what helps students through. We always say it takes a village, and that's true, and we're glad that Big Brothers Big Sisters is part of our village," Barth said.
Despite teachers' best efforts, individual attention can be hard to come by in busy school environments, Barth said.
"Our staff does a beautiful job of making those connections here. However, that one-on-one time is scarce," Barth said. "You know, it's hard to get that one-on-one time with just a teacher, but we have counselors here, and we have our assistant principal and things like that, that they love to come and talk with, but this is just one more person again, that touch point that they can talk with."
She said she's already witnessing the program's impact, even in its early weeks.
"I know that they come back in a very good mood. And I think that's what we always see whenever there's a touch point with an adult that's supportive, or a student, or whatever it might be, is that we're always seeing those positive attitudes come through again. When Thursday comes, there's some excitement. You can see that, hey, is my big coming today?" Barth said.
The mentor's journey
Parr participated in Big Brothers Big Sisters' after-school program during his junior year as part of Badin's relationship project and was nominated for "Big of the Year." When the program coordinator approached him about pioneering the lunch buddy initiative, he said he didn't hesitate.
"Me just talking and being there and being consistent for (Keon) is making an impact in his life, and it makes me feel great, because, I mean, for me, I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary. I'm just sitting here and talking to him and letting him talk to me," Parr said. "It means a lot to know that I can make a difference in his life, and he's made a difference in my life too."
For Ernst, who said she wants to become a kindergarten teacher, the program serves as both career preparation and a chance for personal growth.
"I love working with kids, and I love anything with kids, really. So this was right up my alley, absolutely," Ernst said.
Roberts said she consistently observes that high school volunteers gain as much as they give, often more than they initially expect.
"A lot of these high school students, they come into it a little hesitant, but then they start doing it, and they just love the program," Roberts said. "I'm sure there's other things going on, hanging out with friends, but they do an amazing job of showing up every week and building a bond with their little."
Looking ahead
While the current program features high school mentors, Roberts said she envisions much broader community involvement.
"Anyone that has free time during the day — retirees, stay-at-home moms, maybe even people that just are able to take their lunch break and head out — if their business is willing to let them do that, or a whole group of people could go, co-workers together, be matched with their littles together," Roberts said.
Big Brothers Big Sisters of Butler County already operates mentoring programs at eight schools through their Site-Based after-school program. If workplaces or individuals near schools embrace the lunch buddy concept, the organization could potentially speed up the matching process.
For the 100-plus children still waiting for mentors in Butler County, the expansion of lunch buddies can't come soon enough. But for Keon, Queenie and their classmates already in the program, Thursdays have been transformed from ordinary school days into weekly celebrations of connection and care.
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