CINCINNATI — Stix Newman cried before she got here. And she tells me — with certainty — that she will cry again before the night is over.
“Go ahead,” Newman said, waving her hand. “I’ll be as honest as you want me to be.”
I think we were talking about couch cushions. And how Newman shoves them into her clothes to get the figure she wants. We're in a dressing room above the bar where she's about to perform as Stixen Stones — one of her last drag shows in Cincinnati.
It’s about 30 minutes before showtime, and she's telling me about working as a librarian. She just resigned, because she's moving to Portland.
She always dreamed about moving there. But she says new legislation in Ohio targeting drag performers and people who are transgender made the decision easier for her.
"It’s pretty scary to exist as a trans woman," Newman said. “I just felt like it was time for me to go somewhere else where I can breathe a little easier."
Watch Stixen Stones' going-away show:
More than 30 minutes later, the show hasn't started yet.
Brian Rice, a DJ who often works with Newman, tells me there are fewer and fewer spaces like this in the Tri-State. He says there used to be at least 10 gay bars in Cincinnati and five in Northern Kentucky. Now, he says, there are only two or three in each.
"It's a scary time to be queer," Rice said. "But we try to be there for each other as much as we can.”
Newman goes to the bathroom to wet her wig.
“We’re going to start in five minutes,” Newman said. “We’re going to be gay in public.”
There are loud cheers.
“Drag is a life-saving art for me, but it’s also a megaphone,” Newman said. “It’s a way to get people to wake up and pay attention.”
Newman snaps her fingers, and soon she's on stage.
She finishes the song without crying.
But when she joins her friend for the next performance, there are tears. Lots of tears. Off to the side, I tell her I want to give her the final word. She makes a joke and tells me she doesn't know how to answer that.
Then, it becomes clear.
“You are the most beautiful when you’re being yourself,” said Newman.
