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Kettering Police Department 'cancels' crime due to weather

Posted at 7:09 PM, Jan 29, 2019
and last updated 2019-01-30 11:17:29-05

Good news for the citizens of Kettering, Ohio: Its police department on Tuesday declared an anti-Purge, canceling all criminal activity in light of the impending polar vortex.

”Haven't done anything illegal but being in jail sounds more appealing then working outside these next couple of nights,” one commenter wrote.

He’s not wrong. Although Tuesday night is unlikely to deliver more than a fairy-dusting of snow, forecasted wind chills will likely push temperatures well below zero. Frostbite can occur in fewer than 30 minutes under such conditions.

The Kettering Police Department’s post was a joke, but many churches and schools in Greater Cincinnati have canceled all activities for real. View an up-to-the-minute list of closings and delays here.