CINCINNATI – Tuesday is a big day for a Tri-State Marine veteran and musician who wrote his own suicide note to music.
In his song, “Before I Am Gone,” John Preston shares his personal pain from his brother’s suicide, his own tour in Iraq and the frustration he feels from thousands of military suicides each year as a result of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Is it ever gonna be the same?
ITunes will pre-release Preston’s song Tuesday. The Warsaw, Kentucky, native hopes it will save lives.
"The song is about a guy who just got back from war and didn't know what life was anymore," Preston said. "He hits that moment where he's giving his last letter to his family to say I'm dead."
Preston, who returned from Iraq in 2006, is living in California working as a firefighter. His memories are still vivid.
“Literally every night that I drank myself to blackout, I kind of in the back of my head just wished I wasn’t going to get up,” Preston said. "I didn’t think that there was hope in life."
Could someone just take me away...
But Preston persevered.
“Once I put the bottle down, it was amazing," he said.
"I want people to see that that’s not the end - that moment, that feeling, that thought, that concept. I wish I could go back and give my brother a minute of clarity."
Preston tatooed "22" on his hand after his brother joined the ranks of the estimated 22 veteran and active military suicides a day - a tragedy that hit him after he had started his mission to spotlight PTSD through his music.
"Before it was about awareness. Now I am 100 percent attempting to save lives," he said.
Preston hopes his suicide song will resonate with others who are where he was, and he offered to speak with them personally.
"There’s someone there to help. Reach out. If you feel like you’re on the edge, I swear to God, go on Facebook right now and message me. I will call you within the hour," Preston said.
"We can do this. We can do this together. We can stop this epidemic. People say we can’t. We can and I’m going to."
Preston worked long and hard to get his song recorded and released.
"I reached out to every major label on Earth and we ended up signing a deal with Concord Entertainment and we’re going to be releasing our album through Universal Music," he said.
“So amazing! Life changing.”
Preston is giving 100 percent of his take on the sales of this song to the organization, Stop Soldier Suicide, which helps current military and veterans work through PTSD.
"Before I Am Gone" will be released Oct. 17.
Thanks to David Kniess.
