CINCINNATI -- Welcome to Cincinnati -- the invisible city.
Why invisible you ask? Well we must be, at least in the eyes of publishing elite.
First we were left out of a list of America’s 20 best beer cities, and now Conde Nast Traveler doesn’t think we’re worthy of their Oktoberfest list. UPDATE: Apparently Esquire doesn't think we're worthy either.
Is it coastal bias? Are we doomed to forever be forgotten flyover country?
What I can tell you is that Conde Nast’s Oktoberfest list is pretty weak.
Have any of you ever heard of Fredericksburg, Texas? The article even admits that the festival doesn’t draw as many people as nearby Addison, Texas, -- about 70,000 people for those who care -- but at least it has the OkTubaFest.
How about Soulard, Mo? Strangely enough this festival also features tacos and donuts -- true German fare if I’ve ever seen it -- and it costs $5.
At the very least, New Ulm, Minn., has a 45-foot-tall glockenspiel clock. That seems legit for the sister city of Germany’s town of Ulm.
But lets get real people. Nobody, not nobody, can beat Cincinnati’s Oktoberfest Zinzinnati.
Outside of Munich itself, there isn’t a city in the world that draws as many people to festival. In fact, Cincinnati routinely draws more than 500,000 people to the Downtown area each year.
Don’t forget that Oktoberfest Zinzinnati featured more than 100 beers as well. From your favorite Marzens and other Oktoberfest styles, to the latest in the city’s craft beer scene, there was something for everyone to try.
The Cincinnati USA Regional Chamber of Commerce said it expected to serve more than 2,000 barrels of beer alone this year. That’s enough to fill a 20 by 40 foot swimming pool.
Plus how could Conde Nast forget our world-famous chicken dance? Or the running of the wieners? Or the brat-eating contest? Or any of the fun German traditions that have long been part of the Cincinnati experience.
All of that is just from Oktoberfest Zinzinnati. There is a wealth of Oktoberfest celebrations across the entire Tri-State area from September to October. They range from the small, intimate community festivals such as the Germania Society’s fest to a celebration of local craft beer from Listermann Brewing.
After all, if we can convert a self-proclaimed Bostonite to all things Oktoberfest and Cincinnati, surely our friends at Conde Nast can give us a quick blurb in their silly listicle.
Plus lets not forget that one of the main sponsors of Oktoberfest Zinzinnati -- Sam Adams’ founder and owner Jim Koch -- hails from the Queen City.
You can listen to him talk about his ties to the city and about its brewing and German heritage in the player below.
If this all feels a bit tired, I certainly understand. Cincinnati takes heat from Deadspin on a routine basis for our chili and our sports -- or gets called an unfriendly city by Travel+Leisure. So it should come as no surprise to Cincinnatians that we are overlooked once again despite all our splendor.
So to all my fellow Cincinnatians, I say hold your heads high and proudly do a celebratory chicken dance because we’re still the best undiscovered secret in these United States.
And to all our haters and detractors, I’ll quote from my coworker Greg Noble:
Go jump in a lake.