CINCINNATI -- It took nearly 50 years, but the Brent Spence Bridge got sick of Cincinnatians walking (and driving) all over it.
It’s been a fixture in of our community for decades, and nobody thinks to thank it for all the support it’s provided over the years. All they do is criticize -- like they're going to be as good as new when they're 53 years old.
Bridges have feelings too, you know.
That’s the premise, at least, of a delightfully strange and hyper-specific (unofficial) Twitter account that responds to local events of the day from the bridge’s point of view.
Good morning, commuters! I'm excited to hear you all honking in celebration of #FCCincy.
Oh, wait...that's not why you're honking, is it?
— Brent Spence Bridge (@SpenceBridge) June 29, 2017
@SpenceBridge has existed since August 2010 and gone on sporadic tweet-bursts since them, but appears to have been recently reinvigorated by the announcement of some headache-inducing lane closures on the bridge this summer.
The account creates a picture of a bridge that acknowledges its flaws but sincerely wants to improve -- and that’s quick to point out any traffic snarls that might make its own problems seem less severe. ("Remember all I’ve done for you?," it seems to ask.)
It’s even chatted with our reporters!
Ugh. If I knew all you people were coming over, I would have tidied up a bit. https://t.co/AtDdJn3qco
— Brent Spence Bridge (@SpenceBridge) June 2, 2017
BSB, if you’re listening, from one long-term Cincinnati fixture to another: As a station, we're 68 years old. We know it’s hard to get older in a changing world, and the stress of being in the public eye can be draining. Everyone has a comment on the way you look, and no one thinks about how hard you try.
It’s difficult. Sometimes it feels impossible to make anyone happy, and you worry that the next big thing might replace you. In your specific case, it looks pretty much inevitable that a major makeover or a total overhaul are somewhere in your future.
But hey -- all hope's not lost once that happens. You’re an older gent with a flair for Twitter. Ever considered a run at the White House?