CINCINNATI — This town needs Rick Grimes.
The straight shooting, somewhat crazy leader of the band of zombie apocalypse survivors on AMC’s “Walking Dead” would have a field day in Cincinnati, according to real estate website Trulia.
Cincinnati ranked among the seven worst place to live in the country during a zombie outbreak, according to a recently published survey on the site.
Trulia researcher Peter Black used data and maps that calculate each city's number of cemeteries and proximity of those cemeteries to homes.
Here are the worst places to live if you want to survive a zombie outbreak:
2: Rhode Island
3: Nashville, Tennessee
3: Hartford, CT
4: Bridgeport, CT
According to Black’s reporting, Cincinnati has 5.4 cemeteries per 50,000 residents. No. 1-ranked Providence has 11.5 per 50,000 by comparison.
Of course, Trulia isn’t the only website to release a study ranking where NOT to be during a zombie apocalypse.
Last year, Hopper.com provided a much more nuanced approach to determining the best and worst places to live during an undead outbreak. The study’s author, Dakota Smith, took “gun ownership, number of Walmart stores and hospitals for supplies, number of military bases for protection from the zombie hordes, population density and number of urban centers (lower the better, because you don’t want all of New York chasing you) and terrain" into account.
Ohio didn’t even show up in the list of worst places to live in Smith’s study. He did agree though that Rhode Island was the worst place to try and tangle with the walking dead.
It should also be noted that Hopper.com’s ranking also included cities west of the Mississippi, an area conspicuously absent in the Trulia study.
There are other handy online tools to prepare for the end times no matter which listing you choose to believe.
Alemi, with fellow researchers, used very scientific sounding information, such as the “Gillepsie dynamics on block-level census data,” to estimate how fast "zombism" would spread depending on the location selected on an interactive map.
The map should tell you how long you have to execute suggestions in this Center for Disease Control and Prevention zombie survival guide in advance of the undead onslaught.
Of course, you should probably print out the guide and identify your neighborhood's Rick Grimes, because once society collapses, so does your Internet connection.