A lot of my friends are moms and dads, and I don't know anyone who has really looked forward to "the talk."
You know the one I mean.
It's the talk about how babies are made that later becomes more about how not to make babies. By the teenage years it sometimes turns into shorthand reminders like "keep it in your pants" or "don't do anything stupid."
So as a mom, I was intrigued when my buddy Julie O'Neill told me about a play called "For Virgins…" and said it was a comedy.
Could this be a light-hearted way to ease the pain of "the talk" for parents and teenagers of the Tri-State? It turns out the answer to that question is no. The story behind "For Virgins…" is a lot more interesting than that.
Playwright Devin Parrish describes her play as a "slapstick joyride through the adventures of purity and holiness." She's directing three performances at the Fitton Center for Creative Arts on Sept. 18 and Sept. 19.
Parrish wrote the play after a series of conversations with girlfriends who were in their 30s, either divorced or still single and going through something close to panic about whether they would ever get married and have children.
She asked herself: "What would the pinnacle of purity – a virgin – how would she deal with these things?"
Parrish, who is 38, wrote the play from a Christian perspective because she felt churches didn't generally address issues of purity and sexuality in a realistic way, she said.
"It's kind of like, you can't talk about sex or sexuality in a church setting, but I need to ask these things," she said. "I need to know if other women are going through these things."
The play centers around four characters that tell their stories in monologues about tomato paste, a Prince concert, "sexting" and aging.
There is Paranoid Virgin who is worried she will die without ever having sex or kids.
Cocky Virgin appears to be self-confident but is actually just trying to keep her heart from being broken.
Experienced Virgin is bitter and cynical, and Parris describes her virginity as "hanging on by a thread."
And Christian Virgin has secular tastes in men and music.
The play initially was produced in Roswell, Ga., near Atlanta, where Parrish used to live and work. A cousin of hers saw it there and wanted to bring the play to Tallahassee, which is where it was produced next.
Parrish directed three performances of "For Virgins…" at the Fairfield Community Arts Center in July. She got a great turnout, and people started asking when more performances would be scheduled. She checked out the Fitton Center in Hamilton, and immediately felt like it was the perfect spot for the next performances, she said.
The target audience for the play is women between the ages of 18 and 80, Parrish said, although both young and older men have been in the audience for past performances, too.
"I kind of had women in mind, but it's turning into more than that," she said. "And I think it has something to do with the conversation we have at the end with myself and the cast and the audience."
Women have told her that they're relieved to be able to laugh at some of the secret thoughts they have had. And one man told her after a show: "Now I understand why women are so crazy."
The play doesn't aim to be preachy, Parrish said. Rather, the idea is to get people to think about their motivation for living their lives the way they do and what guides them – whether it's their faith, their concern for the environment or something else entirely.
"I expose the self-righteousness of passing judgment on others and also reveal some contradictions in the main person," she said. "There's this epiphany that one of the characters has where she realizes she's been very judgmental, and she faces her own contradictions in what she thinks and believes and how she's been living her life."
A woman can be a virgin and still struggle with her sexuality and what Parrish calls "an internal lustful struggle."
Parrish hopes to get enough support to take the play on a college tour.
She didn't set out to make an afterschool special like the ones I grew up watching.
"This is probably the after, after school special," she said with a smile.
If you want to bring kids to "For Virgins…" make sure they are at least 13, she said.
"And be sure that you're ready to have a certain kind of conversation afterwards," Parrish said. "It's sort of what to do while you're waiting. But just because you're waiting doesn't mean you're not going to have struggles, and what are you going to do with that."
So it's definitely not a way to avoid "the talk." In fact, it sounds like it might force parents like me to have another kind of talk with their kids.
But finding different ways to talk about the things that really matter is probably exactly what kids and adults need.
"For Virgins…" is rated PG-13 by playwright Devin Parrish. The play will be performed at 7 p.m. Sept. 18, 2 p.m. Sept. 19 and 7 p.m. Sept. 19 at the Fitton Center for Creative Arts in Hamilton. Tickets are $15. For more information or to buy tickets, click here or go to http://fittoncenter.org/special-events.
Lucy May writes about the people, places and issues that define our region – to celebrate what makes the Tri-State great and also shine a spotlight on issues we need to address. To read more stories by Lucy, go to www.wcpo.com/may. To reach her, email lucy.may@wcpo.com. Follow her on Twitter @LucyMayCincy.
