GMTS Newsletter: Jumping bananas

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

And now for the ICYMI (In case you missed it) version of the GMTS Newsletter.

By the way, I had to look that acronym up the first time I saw it. I had no idea. It reminded me of the time my daughter asked me what LMFAO stood for, and I came up with "Love, Music Fun and Other Stuff." It was a proud parental moment.

Anyway, ICYMI:

My new favorite show is "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" Yeah, my episode review is a couple of days late, but keep in mind – because of my schedule - I watch just about everything on DVR the next day.

But in the words of Ryan himself, turn it up.

In this episode, Ryan goes to Washington. Hilarity ensues.

He goes sightseeing, then he and his mom go to a bar, where a young lady comes over and invites Ryan to meet her friends.

This chick is either a) a plant, b) reading from a script or c) a member of a D.C. conspiracy to expose poor Ryan as a man who is, shall we say, intellectually challenged. (If so, it's working.)

These girls start out asking Ryan Lochte – RYAN LOCHTE – what he thinks of Obamacare. Yes, this was their opening line.

Here's how it went down (in my head):

"So, super hot dude whom I've just met (not because producers handed me a script to make you look dumb), let me prove how little you know by asking you about serious political things in an environment where no normal human would ever bring this stuff up."

But they didn't stop there. They asked him about the length of time it takes to pass laws and the reduction of carbon emissions.

Now that I think about it, there's nothing that helps you learn about a member of the opposite sex like asking his opinion on carbon emissions. Yes, when looking for a significant other, priorities go like this: family values, religion, stance on carbon emissions.

Then our friend Ryan gave us a gift. A gift, I say.

In the middle of an interview, he just stopped talking (that wasn't the gift. Don't be mean. Wait for it.) He explained he just "blanked out."

The interviewer asked what he thinks about during those blank times. Here's the gift.

He said, "All of a sudden I have like, a jumping banana in my head."

A JUMPING BANANA. Yes, that's my second use of all caps, but the "emphatence" (a Ryan word) is necessary.

At least we're assured now that there's something up there.

From Today's Show:

-Super Drunk?: There those stories that are cut and dried, then there are those where the interesting facts keep stacking and stacking. This is one. It's like solving a game of Clue. Forget Miss Scarlett…

A principal in Michigan was arrested:

-for being super drunk (that's an actual thing)

-in the parking lot of her school

-with an open vodka bottle in the car.

Oh, and she slipped out of handcuffs in the cop's cruiser. No word if super drunkenness comes with a cape.

Today's Distracting Link:

In honor of our friend Mr. Lochte, here ya go. (last :01 is NSFW, FYI).

Print this article Back to Top