20. You own a disgusting number of bobbleheads
What, you DON'T own the entire roster of the 1976 Reds plus the announcers in bobblehead form? Where are you from again?
19. You understand that the Cincinnati airport isn't even in Ohio
You've also accepted that the promises of lower fares at CVG are a hopeless pipe dream.
18. You call in sick on Opening Day... Every. Single. Year.
In early April of this year you may or may not have been "arrested due to a case of mistaken identity."
17. You equate pigs with running, art installations, and street fairs
So you're telling me pigs DON'T have wings?!
16. You know that Graeter’s was one of Oprah’s Favorite Things
During her "heavier" years, of course.
15. No one cares where you went to college
"Where did you go to school?" is ALWAYS a question of your high school alma mater.
14. The local media has a feeding frenzy over one random guy who says Cincinnati Chili is "diarrhea sludge."
Srsly though - dude was pretty uninformed.
13. You retweet any said local media outlets or individuals who burned that guy good
C'mon, he's from Virginia (peanuts and ham anyone?) and his favorite local fare is Pizza...real original, buddy.
12. You know what the heck goetta is
And if someone asks you what it is, "Friggin awesome" is an acceptable response.
11. Scoping out your WEBN Fireworks seat begins at least 365 days in advance
...I swear if I find anyone else in my spot in front of the Aquarium we're gonna throw down.
10. "Going to the Boathouse" has more to do with filling your piehole than boating
Bibs are optional.
9. A Kroger card isn’t something on your key chain, it’s a way of life
Why yes, you can take my card to do your weekly shopping.
8. You don’t even ask where we’re ordering pizza from
LaRosa's it is.
7. 98 degrees means more to you than a temperature
So much better than BSB or N*Stink.
6. You went to the East Side and still don't know where the Taft House is
I think it's in a park?
5. You went to the West Side and survived a Cheviot Pub Crawl
Been there. Drank that. Ate the free popcorn (maybe even got the T-shirt?).
4. You know someone who works at P&G
And this is Cincinnati; chances are, you're related.
3. You know better than to swim in the Ohio River.
But you've definitely offered up a few bucks to try and get someone else to jump in.
2. You're pretty sure the streetcar project is going the way of the abandoned subway
You're also planning your haunted streetcar tour and are taking reservations (and advance payment!) for the first tour in 2024.
1. Living in Cincinnati means you actually live in Indiana, Northern Kentucky, or Greater Cincinnati.
Because once you're outside of the 30 mile radius of intelligence around the city, you realize that NO ONE understands where you live unless you just say Cincinnati...
Have another reason? Add it to our list…