- Light fog
I saw a cartoon once depicting a curmudgeonly couple with scowls on their faces, and there was this line: "This relationship works because we make it work!" I know it was meant to be a joke, but the truth is that if more couples did a little work, divorce attorneys would work a lot less.
I know that the idea of "working" on a relationship is foreign to many couples. Most think that things will just straighten themselves out if they just ignore the problem. So after an argument, for example, couples won't discuss the problem or work to resolve and minimize the fallout. They simply go on with their lives until they either forget about what happened and the hurt feelings or until something else comes along to distract them from the previous issue.
Working on your relationship is not effortless, but it's a lot easier than repairing one that has gone wrong. One great tool is to make long-term plans for your future together. If that seems like it's too much to deal with at the moment, just make plans for your next vacation or for the next year. You will learn more intimate details about your desires and your mate, and what it is that you need from your partner to help you feel fulfilled.
Making plans allows you to take a journey together that will open emotional doors that you both will want to walk through. When you can see the hopes, dreams and desires of the one you love, and then help bring them to fruition, it creates a very positive dynamic, and you both can feel the progress.
Many couples also create businesses together, which makes them a little extra money and has the benefit of making them feel closer. From weekend garage sales to creating a garage band, working alongside the one you love is a wonderful experience. Most of the time it enhances your connection, because you are doing something as a team, and that is how good relationships become great.
Developing routines as a couple is also a way to work on your relationship. The more you do together, the closer you become. If you both like to exercise, find a way to do it together as often as possible, and if you want your family to experience a similar type of bonding and success, have dinner together as often as you can. I cannot overstate how much doing this seemingly little thing does for couples and their families. It is a time when days and dreams are shared and everyone becomes a little closer.
You see, the work doesn't have to be hard -- in fact, it can be fun --but it does have to be done if you want to get the most out of your time together. Couples who choose not to work on their relationships usually aren't very happy in them. Make the choice to do what is required to help cement your bond, and make life as good as it can be.
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