GMTS Newsletter: Our candy crush

Tuesday, Nov. 12th, 2013

We have survived Snow-vember. Take some time and celebrate that victory by reading today’s GMTS Newsletter.

It’s at this point on the calendar that your kids’ Halloween candy haul goes a little something like this:

You might find a rogue Snickers, some plain M&Ms, and if you’re REALLY lucky, a Twix or Kit Kat if you rummage around at the bottom of the bucket.

And if, by some heavenly convergence, there is a full size candy bar left, you feel like Charlie when he finds that golden ticket .

But generally what’s left almost two weeks out falls into a couple of categories:

-Gummies/Chewies: Starburst, Twizzlers and Laffy Taffys. (Aside: weird that in my mind, the plural of Starburst is Starburst. Moving on.)

-Second Tier Chocolates: Baby Ruths, Special Darks, Milk Duds, Whoppers. Not that they aren’t great, but they’re the candy equivalent of getting picked last for the kickball team.

-The Stuff People Without Kids Think Kids Like: Butterfingers, Tootsie Rolls, Jolly Ranchers, Dum Dums. These always hang around past their welcome, not unlike a holiday fruitcake.

-The Nasties: Mary Janes, circus peanuts, Dots. These would go directly into the garbage, if it were up to me. Wouldn't matter, though - I'm pretty sure each of these would survive Armageddon.

-The Others: These are the non-candy Halloween offerings: the vampire teeth, stickers, pencils, spider rings and the like. They’re perfectly fine, but you keep them in the candy bucket because there’s nowhere else to go with them. Until they find their way into a junk drawer or the aforementioned garbage.

The other day, before the stash was all but depleted, I asked my older daughter to pick out two pieces of candy for her lunch. She brought me a vanilla Tootsie Roll and Dots.

I ordered the DNA test immediately. No way is that child related to me.

Here’s hoping that when your coworkers bring the remnants of Halloween candy to the office – and that should happen by early next week if it hasn’t already – that you win the leftover candy lottery.

But if someone brings in a stash rife with Reese’s Cups and Milky Ways – be wary. Normal people don’t have winner candy at this late date.

From Today’s GMTS:

-11/12/13: That’s today’s date, if you didn’t notice already. People are apparently flocking to wedding chapels to mark – despite the fact that it’s a Tuesday. But hey, you’re saving some serious cash this way, too.

The next consecutive date- and the last one like this for this millennium - will be 12/13/14 – which is a Saturday. Better book that reception hall now.

-Dolphin Drama: The Dolphins played without Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin last night, and swore the whole bullying controversy wasn’t a distraction at all.  Sure, and they didn’t lose, either.

Today’s Distracting Link:

We all have a favorite Bill or two. Mine would be my grandfather. And also Bill The Cat. At least one of them is included in this quick and easy distracting link.

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