GMTS Newsletter: A turkey travesty

Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

My husband likes the underdog.

Burger King over McDonald’s, Speedway over Shell, New Balance over Nike, college football over the NFL.

That’s why Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday.

Most people pick Christmas, as meaningful as it is commercial. Here people love Labor Day, as summer goes out with a bang. I love Halloween and its nod to creativity and lack of pressure.

But he chooses Thanksgiving.

And I get it. Family, fall, fun. It’s got it all.

You know what it doesn’t have? Decorations.

Sure, you can find a few scarecrows and distressed wooden plaques that read “Harvest.” You’d think it would be pretty easy to find cornucopias and Indian corn.

And it is. In October.

But alas, it’s November and the Christmas Creep is here. I don’t mind it, to be fair – I’m already well into my Christmas shopping and not one bit ashamed.

The problem is that the Thanksgiving decorations that did exist have been pushed aside to make room for inflatable snowmen, spray snow and Santa Claus figurines.

This weekend we went to six stores looking to augment our Thanksgiving decoration harvest. What we found was less than bountiful.

Like those pilgrims their first Thanksgiving, we cobbled together what we could, celebrated our accomplishments and hoped for the best. Of course, we didn’t have to deal with scurvy, traversing a foreign land and escaping religious prosecution. But other than that, it was a pretty similar struggle.

It left me feeling like Peppermint Patty at Charlie Brown's impromptu Thanksgiving feast. Snoopy's jelly beans, toast and popcorn weren't doing it for her, so she asked Chuck, "Where's the mashed potatoes? Where's the cranberry sauce? Where's the pumpkin pie?!?"

She was incredulous, loud, unhappy ... and wanting more.

(I wanted to link to the clip, but couldn't find it, but this is better. It's a comedian playing Philip Seymour Hoffman doing Peppermint Patty's monologue. Enjoy. )

Last year my husband said he wanted Thanksgiving garland and lights. Challenge accepted and fulfilled. They, along with a handmade wreath, now serve as tiny beacons of thanks for all that we have.

If only we had more Thanksgiving decorations.

From Today’s GMTS:

-Election Day: It’s Election Day across the Tri-State, though only Ohio has issues/candidates/races to vote on. Guess that means the lines in Kentucky and Indiana will be short. Check out your voter guide here .

-Your Mama Was Right: You should eat your breakfast. Especially if you’re a man .

Today’s Distracting Link:

A complete-ish history of references to 4 a.m. in movies and such.

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