CINCINNATI - Wednesday Jan. 30, 2013
There's something you should know about our newsroom, or really, any newsroom.
It's fast-paced, hard core and a day of constant deadlines. And today with all the weather, we existed in a state of enduring chaos.
But it's not a real office.
In fact, I've only worked in a real office for about three months my entire life. So I'm basing my knowledge on that ... and what I've seen in sitcoms. So this'll be pretty accurate.
Real offices are quiet, people get lunch breaks and there's an actual water cooler.
Right now I'm watching about seven people laugh, talk and snack on mint brownies, sausage balls and fruit pizza – brought into the newsroom to celebrate Brian Yocono's birthday.
That seems pretty 'officey.' But that's about where it ends.
Ways a Newsroom Is Nothing Like a Real Office:
- There's a lot of yelling. Not motherly "clean up your room!" yelling, or contentious "do you want to take this outside?!" yelling. It's more like, "OMG! Ashley and Dario are divorcing!" yelling. A lot of it could be dialed down by (and I know this is groundbreaking) using our phones.
-Oh, the distractions. Every office has them. A newsroom takes those distractions and multiplies them times infinity -- squared. It's not just the yelling. The noise level in a newsroom rivals that of a preschool after cookies and milk time.
Police scanners are constantly on and when the person listening to them can't hear one, they turn it up. But then they can't hear one of the others so they turn that one up too. This continues until you can hear the scanners somewhere around Argentina.
-Also, people run here a lot. Deadlines come fast and furious and we are generally not good at time management. Someone's always running somewhere and it's rarely a good sign.
-Business lunches? Please. We're lucky if we have time to get those tasty Ruffles Max potato chips out of the vending machine to eat at our desk.
-And that's another point. People always eat at their desks, which are only half a mesh cubicle wall away from the rest of us. We also eat at inopportune times. They may make sense to us, but not to someone on a different shift. When that food smells, it can (and does) create a hostile work environment.
There's nothing like arriving at work and being greeted with the stench of someone downing tuna salad leftovers at 9:30 a.m. I'm thinking of contacting HR.
-Meetings are unusual, too. Some people have four or more daily. Others (like me), maybe one a month.
-We have co-workers who've been here for years – and yet, we've never seen them since we work opposite shifts.
-When you're sick, especially on the morning shift, you better figure it out about 12 hours in advance. Like many jobs, every position has to be replaced. You try talking someone into coming to work in a half an hour when it's 2:30 in the morning.
-It is perfectly acceptable to watch YouTube cat videos at work. We don't quickly minimize our Facebook and Twitter windows when our bosses walk by and we brazenly bookmark TMZ.com for work purposes, of course.
-It's one of only a few workplaces where people with college degrees sometimes go to work wearing pajamas.
There you have it: a busy, boisterous, bustling, baffling, batty place to work. But we'll take it.
Where else can you work where watching TV at your desk is required?
From Today's Show:
A lot of this didn't make it into the show this morning, because of the aforementioned chaos, but check it out anyway:
Today's Distracting Link:
Every day for lunch, I put a joke in my kids' lunches. That means I have to spend hours trolling the internet for new ones, because I've either used them already – or they're just plain bad.
This is a site just for the bad ones people submit. Enjoy.