(CNN) -- Rihanna has been pretty open about the fact that, when it comes to whatever dealings she may have with former boyfriend Chris Brown (who pled guilty to assaulting her in 2009), she's going to do what she wants.
Three years and two remixes later, the "Birthday Cake" singer is opening up to Oprah about the night that changed everything between her and Brown.
"I lost my best friend," she told Oprah in an interview to air Sunday on OWN. "Everything I knew switched - switched in a night - and I couldn't control that, so I had to deal with that, and that's not easy for me to understand."
An emotional Rihanna said the situation was even more difficult for her to grasp with the world watching her every move.
"It was hard for me to even pay attention to my mind and figure things out because now it became a circus and I felt protective," she said. "I felt like, the only person they hate right now is him.
"It was a weird confusing space to be in because as angry as I was -- as angry, hurt and betrayed -- I just felt like, he made that mistake because he needed help and like, who's going to help him? Everybody is going to say he's a monster without looking at the source and I was more concerned about him."